Thank you all for your mature and controlled attitude to this morning’s rather disrupted session.
We now have a starting point, a concept and an idea of how the work may develop within that. The notion of liminality ran through the entire morning’s work. Think about the connections made and the journeys travelled.
Firstly in the Gardzienice workshop. The space between you and your partner, the transference or journey of the energy and the responses to the impulses all had an element of existing in an undefined and inexplicable space. There were starting points and end points but what happened in between was personal, unpredictable and intangible. You were liminal subjects in a liminal space. You are in this work transformed and it is what happens in this transformation that happens in the liminal state.
The visualisation exercise took you from a comfortable but totally imagined space, with you, as a liminal subject, at its very centre to another imagined, less comfortable space. You made a journey through the liminal space from a concrete albeit imaginary space to………well, only you know where, and it is the exploration of such a space we embarked upon today.
Reflect on your experiences of:
1. The Gardzienice warm up. How did it affect you as both the manipulator and the manipulated?
2. How did the visualisation exercise affect you and in what way did it help you to make connections with the introduction of the concept or indeed with past exercises and workshops?
3. Comment on your understanding of the concept and the potential for a way forward for you as an individual.
Thank you,
Paul & Royona
Bahok, Akram Khan Dance Company
Exploring Liminality
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19 comments:
Today’s session was very interesting for two reasons, we found out the Title and the concept and two the level of focus was very intense despite things that went on.
The warm up today was very different compared to the types which we have been use to. At first I was the manipulator and was manipulating Sean which at first seemed very weird because of the contact which was needed because it was not a fast contact it was slow because you needed to relax the other. This was very therapeutic in doing so because it also relaxed me into the area and I played close attention because we had never done this warm up before. When we switched roles it became more relaxing then before. I found myself falling into a relaxed sleep. I was saying to Sean that I felt my body swaying back as if I didn’t want to stand up which was very relaxing.
The visualisation exercise helped a great deal with making the connection when we were given the concept because everything which I imagined I could apply to with the concept delivered.
At first I found it hard to think where I wanted to be because I was not fully focused but once Paul began talking in more detail it instantly clicked where I wanted to be and I easily pictured the setting.
Earlier on in the semester I said to Royona I thought that the piece had something to do with our identity so I was happy when I heard the concept because it was something which I enjoy looking at which is how something becomes something if you understand what I mean?
My understanding of the concept is similar to Fractal, I believe that we do have something to identify us but it is the connection of how we get for something to represent us. Identity could play a large part in the piece by thinking we are something when in fact we are something totally opposite.
As an individual I instantly though I wanted to play someone who is not myself at the present time and I plan to write my letter as this character, kind of Daniel Plus as Royona said to Zara. I do not feel the way my character feels what so ever but this is how I felt when Paul was delivering the concept.
1)When I took the role as the manipulator I wasn’t really aware of the effect I would have upon Anna and while carrying out the warm up and the different stages I felt more confident manipulating Anna. In a way it felt good that another person has that much trust in you to do things that we as the manipulator don’t fully understand how it is affecting our partner. When the roles were reversed and I was being manipulated, I felt a sudden change as soon as the warm up started and as it progressed I felt like I had put my life in Anna’s hands because even though I was present, it felt as though I had no control what so ever over my body, so whenever I fell or lost balance Anna was there to catch me. I feel this warm up not only taps into your own well being it also builds a high level of trust between you and your partner.
2)It affected me in a way I never thought imaginable, when I thought of my favourite place I felt happy and warm inside but as soon as Paul said you can hear voices, there’s a thick fog around I started to feel uneasy and not at all happy, and when I felt either Paul or Royona walk past me I flinched as if they were an intruder in my own little world. The exercise itself made deep connections with the introduction of the concept and I can bring forward the way I felt during it into the tasks that are set in future, and also the past exercises/workshops have been our space in-between the beginning of the module and the end of the workshop stage, but this isn’t the end, this is just the beginning of Porto.
3)The concept of Porto is fantastic and when I saw the pictures I felt really connected to the idea. I like the idea of a Journey and everything that goes with it and I really believe that completing this module will alter me as a person for the better. Also someone people were unaware of what bag and what item they would bring to the future sessions but as soon as Paul and Royona told us what we needed to bring, I knew instantly what I was going to bring in. And even though I know as a person I’m going to progress, I know where I’m going to begin.
1) The Gardzienice warm up as the manipulator was interesting as I felt as if i was relaxing myself as well as my partner whilst I manipulated them. I started off with applying a less amount of pressure to my partners body parts. After observing that this was not provoking any impulse movements from my partner I began to apply more pressure which aided her into reacting to the impulses i gave to her during the head massaging. I came to the conclusion that when being the manipulator it was vital that the pressure and contact between the two of us had to be strong in order to feel the impulses and be able to react to them.
When being the manipulated, it was easier for me to relax as i knew what was going to happen to me. I definitely felt a difference in my posture from the beggining of the exericise to the end as my body felt more relaxed. During the exercise i felt as if i was lost in myself and I forgot any problems or issues I was thinking about previously to starting the warm up. It was as if I was just a body with no soul, totally uncontrol of my movements and as someone during the session described as being a puppet.
2) During the visualisation exercise I found myself surprisingly emotional at the thought of having this happy place of mine being disrupted as it is a highly personal place where I've only ever had happy and fun experiences, and the thought of this place being somewhat intefered with did infact scare me and worry me. This thought made me believe that this experience and exploring the concept of porto will challange me to extreme levels in an emotional sense.
3) I find the concept of Porto very intriguing, the idea of not focusing on the end result or the destination, but on the journey and what happens inbetween. I look forward to exploring this liminality and middle ground from where we began to where the process ends and how i will grow indiviually as a person/performer.
Leyna
I really enjoyed the warm up , it was so different from what we have done before. But I could enjoy doing that every ay. It was interesting to be the manipulator first as the transition in the state of body and mind was amazing to watch. Knowing that you have created that. The warm up is so simple but so effective. It was brilliant being manipulated, i enjoyed just relaxing. I felt like i was swaying back and forth but Im not sure whether I actually was. And when we finished i felt like i couldn't move my feet from the position they had been in the whole time.
2. The visualisation and what Paul was talking about braught a horrible nasty feeling to me. The vision that Paul described was something i would never wish to experience. And it was interesting how he implimented this before explaing our concept.
3.The way i see myself forward within Porto is explained on my email. But I think the concept is very interesting. As there is so much that could be done with it. However i'm not sure how I will develop within this. Im just interested to discover.
The warm up today was very relaxing it seemed so effortless in comparison to the usual one we use. I think if given this exercise at the start of module the outcome would not have been the same as over the weeks we have all grown to be on a very simular level in terms of trust. I found warming up my partner was slightly stressful at first as she wasn't relaxed and its hard not to take that personally. Needless to say when she did become relaxed it was a great feeling for me to know that I had achieved that place for her.
The visualisation exercise took me back to a place I really didn't want to be I doubt it helped being so relaxed from the warm up as well. I really let go and thinking of my 'happy place' was so easy as I had been there that morning so it was very fresh on my mind and realistic. To have that image ripped from me and horrible images replace that made me suddenly become aware of things that stopped me getting to that 'happy place' to start with. I honestly found it very upsetting. Usually I would mind having my thoughts toyed with in such a way but given that it has lead on to the next task I don't mind so much as it has given me more depth work with.
The only thing we have no control over in life is the fact we are all born and we will all die. The path we choose to take between life and death is a choice we will always have. My character might make the choices I wish I had taken or wish I hadn't but either way from now until our final performance we will never stop making choices.
Kelly-Ann's Comments:
The Gardzienice warm up i found was very relaxing. Being manipulated by Sarah first i felt aware of everyone around me, having my eyes closed makes me feel insecure neway but as the contact increased i found it more relaxing and i didnt want to open my eyes because i didnt want to ruin the outcome. From the beginning of the warm up when i felt stiff and uncomfortable was the complete opposite by the end, i felt relaxed and i could trust my partner totally. I felt like i needed her there, just the hand on the shoulder to let me know she was there put all fears aside so when i fell or became unbalanced my partner was there to catch me. I enjoyed being manipulated just as much as i enjoyed manipulating. I found this warm up very effective and help to focus on the tasks to follow.
When Paul guided us through the journey, as soon as he said think of a place, i felt peaceful, warm, comfortable and happy but as soon as he spoke about the fog and the mist i felt anger inside, where i couldnt stop frowning and feeling anger towards what was ruining my perfect place. I couldnt believe how my emotions went from one to the other in a matter of minutes, i think this exercise just gave me an insight to the transition of emotions that will happen during the journey.
When we were introduced to Porto i couldn't believe that we were starting a journey without knowing the ending. I think this will be amazing to watch as it something that is unexpected. i look forward to this ...
Whilst being the manipulator it was hard to imagine how the person was feeling. I did the manipulation first and so did not know what was going to happen. I found it difficult to judge, at first, the reaching my partner was going to have. Only as the warm up progressed and I became more in tune with my partner did I realise how she was going to react and how I needed to support her. And on occasion what I could do to make the reaction bigger or smaller. As she became more relaxed it was easier to manipulate her body ad get the desired reactions.
When I was being manipulated I found it easy to relax and not put up resistance for example in the arm pushing exercise. When I was being the manipulator I wasn’t sure how far I could take the movement but I think this helped my partner experiment more with my body as she felt how it was when she was being manipulated. After being manipulated I felt completely relaxed and like I could move more freely from myself. The exercise also tuned me into how my body was feeling at that time the stresses certain parts where under and also mentally. I felt I was more focused then I had been in a while after the whole warm up.
The visualisation exercise was a very strange experience. As I was completely focused after the warm up I was able to get completely sucked into the story and the images that became so vivid in my mind as the noise started and Paul explaining all the things that needed to be imagined. It helped me realise a starting point for my journey but it did not give me an ending. I felt by the end of the exercise a definite feeling of lost and feeling unsure about my journey. In previous workshops when we concentrated on the use of movements to cross a path I kept thinking about moving in the storm that I had imagined and how my body would be moving my muscles where aching and I felt cold because of the conditions I was in. I think for me to continue with this path I need to keep imagining how my body feels in the places I can see in my visualisation.
The concept as I understand it is of the in-between journey from A to B and what happens that we don’t know in between. I think for me to continue on my journey I need to concentrate on the ending as I am unsure of where I am going and the things I encounter will shape this end. The character letter I have written contains everything I felt and was exactly how i felt at the time of the visualisation. Everything was very strong and i felt almost there.
1.The Gardzienice warm up so interesting, to hold power over someone's body in that way is quite strange to comprehend. So getting into the mind set and creating a blank canvas to work from was difficult. I enjoyed manipulating Ellen as she seemed to be willing to be manipulated, however when it came to being manipulated myself was extremely hard as i felt tense from doing the warm up to Ellen I need to relax quite a lot and i personally don't enjoy being so close to people, however it really worked for me as the next second i felt as though if someone asked me my name i wouldn't be able to tell them.
2.The visualisation exercise was very interesting i felt the journey we had started as a company was exciting i felt as though i was in an alley with a light at the end and i was half way down, i wanted to make it but wasn't sure if i could. I feel as our company we can put our trust in each other to feel a belonging in the in-between space. I know that is quiet deep, however it is just how i felt at the time.
3.I think i answered q.3 in q.2 but as an individual i believe in will find the inner strength, trust myself and express how i feel and use this to create my interpretation of Porto.
1.
The Gardzienice warm up was a stark contrast to the conventional warm up the ensemble was used to. I was in the first phase of the ‘manipulated’ so I was unaware of the process about to be undertaken. Although I would say I was very physically relaxed from the beginning of the exercise, I did feel that there were some psychological concerns bought on through not knowing what was going to happen. Fortunately these passed very swiftly and I became fully engaged with the exercise. I found the warm up to be very relaxing. The sense of liberation I felt from not having control over my own self was indeed therapeutic. At the end of the exercise, when asked to reopen the eyes, it seemed like waking up for the first time. I found it difficult to focus or deal with light, while my muscles were slow to respond when I tried to move.
As the manipulator I noticed the changes in Mikey’s body as he process developed. In particular was the placing of his breath. Early on in the warm up Mikey’s shoulders were moving with every breath (as he was breathing from the chest) however, as the exercise progressed, his breathing shifted to his diaphragm and his shoulders became still. One thing that I found fascinating was that Mikey had not been feeling very well, particularly noticeable was his sniffing and coughing at the beginning of the warm up. Interestingly by the end I was unaware of any of his flu symptoms, as they appeared to have eased/stopped.
2.
I was familiar with the visualisation exercise before the workshop session. However this in no way hindered the effects of it. As Paul talked us through the transition of the comfortable place to the unknown, I experienced both emotional and visceral reactions. I suddenly felt cold and my body convulsed at intermittent periods.
The visualization exercise introduced the concept by having the idea of the start of a journey. We became liminal subjects, as we were about to collectively inhabit the liminal space between journey’s start and journey’s end.
3.
The concept has a great deal of potential. To explore the liminal space and the inhabitants of the liminal space. The idea of the unknown is always intriguing and the idea of the space raises a number of questions for its inhabitants or potential inhabitants:-
- Where is this liminal space?
- What happens in this space?
- Who exists in this space?
- I have expectations of this space, will they be let down or improved upon?
- Is the experience of the liminal space a requirement to transcend it?
For the Gardzienice warm up, I was under manipulation first, and I found it very unnerving as I could hear the lecturers describing something but I couldn’t see what it was. So suddenly when I felt hands on my neck (something that I cannot stand) I wasn’t relaxed at all. All I wanted to do was step away or take the hand of my neck, so that’s all I could think about. I almost wish there were non neck related exercises because then I know I would have been a lot more focussed and able to become more relaxed. Towards the end I was relaxed but I feel I could have been a lot deeper in to it. Antionette was completely different though. She seemed to be relaxed quite early on and I could manipulate her head and arms really easily and when she nearly dropped at the end, it was very odd to think that I had complete control over her; that the slightest knock or touch could send her to the floor.
The visualisation exercise started to affect me and I could see the images unravelling in front of my eyes until I heard the song ‘I wish you were here’ by Pink Floyd. That song has a lot of emotional connotations for me, which I believe, hindered the end of my visualisation. After hearing that the visualisation was a big part in the concept, it annoyed me because that song is not a liminal space or place for me, it is in the past and that journey has already ended. However, I do feel that I have an interesting starting point for my journey and that it was derived from the visualisation, and I understand that it is the journey I take from this point onwards that is important.
The possibilities for this concept are endless, as literally anything could happen on the journey ahead but these endless possibilities don’t only lie with just what the journey holds, as the human being is capable of countless, altering decisions and thoughts that add to the liminal place as well. It will be interesting to see how I go through my journey, the character I have chosen lies quite close to home, making it a lot more real for me, so I definitely look forward to standing at the end and looking back on it all.
Nicola
The Gardzienice workshop affected me tremensley, being the manipulator and the manipulated. Firstly i was being manipulated by Lizzie. I felt exaclty how our performance of Porto is being portrayed. Going in one person and passing through the liminal space and departing as another. Having walking into th warm up having total control of my actions and emotions to being in the liminal space having another person controlling every movement of mybody apart from when Lizzie used a certain touch or no touch at all, that was when my body reacted to itself. During the warm up i felt extremely dissorientated and dizzie, i felt this was comming from the internal and telling me that something was wrong. I came out of the warm up feeling that i couldnt control myself, and it did take me sometime to get back into my own body. Being the manipulator to Lizzie i new what emotions and feelings she was going through so i new that i had total control and if she was to fall i was the only one that could stop her hiting the floor. In a way i felt as one,as if i was giving the instructions and Lizzie was bringing them to life.
The visualisation exercise felt as if i was being intruded. From finding that place where i felt happy and safe and being comfortable there. It struck me that the place that came to me wasnt where i thought it would be. I could actually visualise and be able to look around, but when Paul began to say that the place is going away and it it getting harder to be there, i felt in my body that something physically was pushing me out. I felt very uncomfortable, which i didnt think that exercise would make me feel. I really found myself and this made it easier to understand the concept as i could use my own images and ideas.
I felt i instantly had a connection to the concept of Porto. Especially going from the visual exercise this i felt was a journey in itself to understanding the concept. As many people have commented, i instantly new where my departure was, what bag i was using and also my object i will be taking with me. I am excited to see how far the journey will take me and where i will arrive.
1. Being manipulated by my partner in the Gardzienice warm up was a very strange feeling. I felt so completely relaxed that it didn't feel like I could have had any control over my body even if I'd wanted to. I gave control over to my partner completely. The relaxed state I was in made me feel disorientated, and like there was no one else around. It was just me and my parnter in the middle of a huge open space, but this feeling of the open space didn't scare me like in the visualisation exercise as in the Gardzienice warm up, there was someone else with me. The constant touch from my partner was extremely reassuring, letting me know I wasn't alone.
As the manipulator I was focussing so hard on my partner, reading their body responses, making sure they didn't fall etc. It was relaxing in a way, but also a little strenuous - maintaining the right amount of pressure during the spinal exercise for example.
2. The visualisation exercise brought back some very unpleasant feelings for me. Going from feeling comfortable and happy, to uncomforable, lost and frightened in a matter of minutes. I really felt like I had to get out. The exercise made a clear connection with the concept of Porto in that the process of Porto will be the liminal journey starting from those feelings and emotions to wherever it may lead.
3. I believe that Porto is going to be a gruelling journey from one state to another - perhaps a state of mind. I think it will be very interesting to see the development or change in relationships or connections between us all as individuals but also between us and the belongings we decide to take with us.
Although I am excited about how I hopefully will have changed by the end of the journey, I am actually more interested in the journey itself, the liminal time in between. I know there will be challenges along the way, both physical and emotional but it's how we deal with these challenges that shape who we are and how we grow as individuals.
The end of the process (the performance) is one that could be ever changing, and focussing on this would be the wrong way to go about it. I think for the Process and Performance to be totally organic, instinctive and true to oneself, the focus needs to be in the moment as it comes.
As the manipulator, i felt very much in control and responsible for my partners reactions. It was very soothing to be able to connect with my partner through the soul of my hand and pace of breath. Whilst doing the excercise, i understood that i had to be comfortable with the proximity and relationship between my partner and i in order for her to be completly open and vunerably, as Gardzienice's warm up is about an exchange of impulse and energy. Hence the reason why i felt so exhausted afterwards. When i became the manipulated, i noticed i had zoned out of 'this world' so to speak, almost in a trance of harmony. The techniques that were carried out on me were impulses for me to move, so the body never moved without a cause. At the end of the warm up i knew that it was a transition of energy, from one body to the next that caused the body to react and feel.
The visual helps me to gain complete focus, when asked to listen to sounds from different ranges. I beleive it allows the individual to enter an unknown space through the minds eye, this should then produce an emotional connection between the two. Leaving the individuals awareness and imagination heightened.
The Concept of Porto is simple, we are the process and performance!Through the stimuli's given we shape the end result, which says alot about identity as we know it and who we think we are. To do this it is important to take a mature stance as a group as it's not as simple as it sounds. Nothing is definate, tangable, or perminant through this process and thats the interesting part for me.
1. The Gardzienice warm up as the manipulated, made me far too relaxed! For some reason I was quite easily manipulated and felt as though I had some sort of outer body experience! The final part of the exercise, when my partner massaged my head and then did a swift 'jolt' resulted in me falling. Thankfully this didn't alter my relaxed mode, perhaps encouraged by Emma's hasty catching of me- and I managed to complete the task with pleasure! Following this was my turn to be the manipulator. Emma and I already had quite a strong connection from carrying out the task previously in reverse roles and so quickly fell into place. Being the manipulator I felt I had been entrusted with Emma and I wanted her to have an enjoyable experience and truly relax, but also wanted to assure her constantly that I was there and she was safe. On the whole, this section of the workshop helped me to gain confidence with the group to trust them with me in a vulnerable position but also to trust myself to look after any member of the company.
2. The visualisation exercise had quite a strong affect on me. I tend to be quite a visual person anyway and can be quite imaginative and so flung myself into this task relishing at the prospect of using my imagination. I actually felt as though I were in my safe place and when it was destroyed, I truly felt shattered. My safe place is a palce I return to. It's very important to me and in a sense is one of my beginnings. As such, I quickly placed this as my beginning of the journey. I think that together the visualisation exercise marries perfectly with the concept of Porto.
3.I'm writing on this blog after having just written my letter for my character. I've signed it with my name though I'm not sure its me. I definitely understand the concept now of physical theatre being an extension of yourself. The character I envisage. The character who kept me awake last night when my mind was still full of worries from the workshop is not me, rather an aspect of me. The me who not many people see but who hides away in the distance only to reveal herself at scarce moments of extreme vulnerability when the real me seems to forget what's going on. I definitely relate to her and in relation to Port, can see how I carry her or indeed, she carries me.
In response to the question, my understanding of the concept is that we are all or have been at some point on a journey with a beginning and an end and a point that we had to get across, the threshold. I see my character as the threshold for 'real' me and in my development of this character I need to go on her journey. I need to see things how she sees and react how she reacts. I know it's going to be emotionally wearing. After last night I had to get home as quickly as I could and hold my other half just because I was so upset that he wasn't there on this journey, that I was alone. I needed reassurance that my visualisation wasn't real! As a character I have no idea how I'll develop but as a person I am sure I'll learn more about myself in the next few months than I have in 21 years.
Being in the first stage of the Gardzienice warm up as the manipulated, placed me in a very vulnerable position at the beginning because of the ‘not knowing what we were going to do’ factor, but after the initial block I thought that I will never be able to anticipate what is going to happen, so I just need to try and relax. It surprised me how relaxed I actually got because it was quite scary having someone else be in full control of all my movements. The massaging of the head and sharp tap on the pressure point was evident of this. It is amazing how must trust you can put into another body and lose all control of yourself. There was a safe point for me during the warm up and that was having my partners hand on my back. As soon as he took it off at the end I did feel a bit unstable and felt as if I still needed that support.
Still unaware of what was happening because of having my eyes closed as the manipulated, acting as the manipulator was just as surprising. I was only aware of the feelings I felt whilst being manipulated, I did not know how much control my partner had of me until I was the manipulator. In a way being the manipulator was probably more daunting, because every body reacted differently, I did not have any idea how my partner would react. At times it felt as if my partner was unconscious and I could just move him however way I wanted to and it was unexpected seeing how my partner reacted to the taping of the head.
I think having us follow our partners breathing patterns initially, was a major factor in the trust element, because you became in sync with your partner, and you felt as if you could feel how they felt.
The visualisation exercise was very exhausting; it felt much longer than what it was. There were emotions felt that I haven’t felt in a while, and for such emotions to change so rapidly was no other than different. I was focusing so much on my ideal, than having that taken away from me so suddenly, made me want to fight so hard, to get it back. I started to feel cold and could feel my breathing rate increase. I really started to feel uneasy. Yet I felt as if I couldn’t open my eyes, because it became a reality. It helped me with the concept of Porto because this maybe the starting point of my journey through the liminal space. I now know what struggle is starting to feel like and how not to give up on what is mine and what I want.
The concept of the liminal space to me is like being in Limbo, it’s that unknown. I don’t know where it is; how I am going to travel through it; or where it will take me. I believe for me as an individual it will be a struggle. I am actually scared in a way of what will come of this journey. By me putting so much effort, emotions into this concept it will be a draining process I know already. But hopefully with a bright return.
This is my first blog after finally getting on here. Today’s session was really weird for me but i continued the lesson with a positive mind. The warm up was very different from any other lesson, I have never ever experienced anything like it. This reason mainly being I never usually relax as much as you need to be for this exercise. I began as the manipulator and i felt this is never going to work. i felt very weird doing the certain tasks to make them completely relaxed i thought it will never work. As the exercise went on i felt my partner became very relaxed this was showed by my partner. we switched roles and i was then being manipulated it felt strange to start with it but i just let my self go. As the exercise went on I felt my self becoming more and more relaxed and at one point i felt like I was asleep.
The exercise today touched me in a way and was surprised with the results i had being that i could be that involved with a exercise that i would never usually let my self go in. In relation into every other move and exercise we have done i don’t think they relate as much as this one did when experiencing this exercise i did today i felt like i was in my own world and nothing that was around me mattered and i was sad in a way to come back to reality.
I was exciting when i heard the concept of our show and was excited as a performer. I see this as way forward like a goal i must now must set my self to achieve the best outcome for this performance. We now must start a new journey and establish where my path will take me as a performer.
1. The warm up was a very strange and wonderful thing to learn. As the manipulator, I felt responsible for my partner. I felt as if I was there to help and support him. It is a great feeling to help someone relax and to be able to control and manipulate their body. When they put their trust in you, you feel like you want to make that trust worthwhile. For David and myself, things did not go quite to plan. While I was massaging David’s head he began to feel unwell. The first thing this made me think was “oh my gosh, what have I done?” and I was so worried. I thought I must had done something wrong and completely let him down. However, as Royona and Paul explained, it is a common feeling when doing this type of work, and in turn David had felt he was letting me down too, which was completely not the case!
When being manipulated, I had retreated to another planet! However, at first I did find it difficult to relax. I thought I was relaxed, but when we did the arm exercise, I was resisting! It was strange to realise I had tension when I thought I did not and then try to get rid of it…When David did the pressure point on my head, he got it wrong the first few times and I did not move. As soon as he got it right, my knees just seemed to disappear! My body seemed to have been taken over and I was happy to be in David’s hands and to be manipulated.
2. I think it was so good how we went through the exercises and then how it all came together. The visualisation exercise was a real eye opener for me, as I really felt it was real. I concentrated very hard on what Paul was saying as I was eager to experience this. I connected so much with the exercise that by the time it finished I could not get to grips with reality very well!
By the time Royona explained the idea behind Porto afterwards, it was very exciting and everyone was full of ideas. We had all been given our own little stories prior to this. We all had first hand experience of the meaning behind Porto, the meaning of the liminal space and this meant we connected a lot more. It all seemed to come together-past workshops where we had learnt how to connect with each other and ourselves.
3. I imagine Porto to be very focused on a group of people going somewhere. Based on baggage and arrivals, departure and the liminal space, I imagine it to be centred on taking paths in life and the baggage you take with you emotionally. I feel like this will be a performance based on travel, whether it is leaving things behind for a new life or having to leave somewhere. As an individual, I feel like I am about to learn a lot about myself and the person I may grow into. I have already learned a lot about myself simply from the visualisation exercise. It shocked me how the events in my mind transpired, and later on that night I realised it reflected my life and a person I had always wanted to be. Even things I have begun to do already. I think as my character transforms, my personality and values may well go with it too. I think I will learn about the person I will become.
Zara's Comments:
1) The Gardzience warm up, was different. As a group we had never started a session in this way, so it was interesting to see how we copied with the sudden change.
I believe that unconsciously we where experiencing the unknown from the start of the session. Hence, not expecting the Gardzience warm up – we expected the routined warm up, which we had familiarized our selves with by completing this every lesson. Once this was taken away from us, we felt uncomfortable and we didn’t know what to expect.
This in itself for me, (even if it was purposely planned or not,) was very clever and the thought of not knowing what to expect- throwing an exercise that was not our norm, started the first session of the year on a high and a year of expecting the unexpected.
As the manipulator I found the exercise draining and by the end, all my energy had felt it had been syringed out. My arms felt heavy and were definitely ready to swap roles by the end of the exercise.
When I became manipulated it was relaxing to the point where if I had the choice I wouldn’t have stood, this was because I felt like I constantly wanted to drop on the floor and just lay there. The reason may have been because how relaxed I felt, all the muscles and joints were loose and there was no tension- except holding my self up from not falling.
2) The visualization effected me in somewhat. I found from the past that I am a visual learner, so building images was not too hard for me. However I felt the exercise did not help me to much in terms of the concept as I ended up changing my journey from the original created scenario I made in the first place. On the other hand I do recognize the link and connection between the two, as the exercise was making you become aware of possible ideas, getting you to feel, recall emotions and events from the starting of the journey, the middle and to the end. I felt my happy memory I created from the visualization exercise was hard to put into physical theatre and hard to express; therefore I changed my limited idea to one that was better to work with. By changing the idea I am able to go further and explore more.
3) The concept I feel is a good choice. It is very broad and because of this there can be many ideas, thoughts, situations and roads to be taken. I like this as it is not direct or specific the idea gives room to add your own contributions and ideas to the production.
As I expressed early I like the unexpected. I am someone who likes order, yet i like to be spontaneous. Peers would categorize me as messy, organized. This is because I know where everything is, it is in its place and in order however it is messy and only I know how or where to approach the mess to get what i needed.
The reason why I am writing this is because I feel that the lessons already and future lessons have been and will continue to be structured but there is a sense of not knowing what’s going to take place, which for me is awesome.
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